El Gordo

It's El Gordo. It's the most boring and monotonous TV show in the world. Just a handful of little orphan children with sleek hair and Sunday-best clothes chanting an endless series of numbers into a microphone. Yet for five non-stop hours on December 22 it holds Spain enthralled. Those who can't get near a TV set follow the hymn-like singing on radio. Bars, factories and offices grind to a standstill as millions of people strain to catch every vital numeral. The interminable pop number will never make the Eurovision song contest, but for Spain it is the greatest hit tune of them all. By the time the singing has finished, the lives of thousands of Spaniards will have changed for ever. Many will be millionaires. Whole villages will begin a new life of prosperity. Children yet unborn will stand to inherit fortunes.

If my number 12069 had won I would have ditched the macrobiotic diet and lived on biscuits made with smoked salmon and fine caviar and hand rolled by one legged midget monks from the San Jose de Compelosta de Santiago monastery. Bollocks, stupid El Gordo.

Factoid: Ticket sales El Gordo, or The Fat One, reached EUR 3.5 billion. As every year, students from the San Ildefonso School in the Spanish capital read off the winning numbers when the draw takes place in what is regarded as the world’s richest lottery. Punters usually buy a 10th of a ticket, or “decimo” which costs EUR 20 and if the number wins the top prize, the ticket holder will be richer by EUR 300,000. With 153 million “decimos” in play, chances of winning even one of the smaller prizes are infinitesimal. Started as a way to raise revenue by King Carlos III in the 18th century, the yearly lottery has since been held 196 times and is seen by Spaniards as the start of the country’s long Christmas season.