Lagarto Psammodromus algirus

Caught up with Larry el Lagarto this morning. He told me this story about his cousin who lives in Africa. Had me in fits.

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey “hey! what are you doing?”

The monkey says “smoking a joint, come up and have some.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side,then asks the lizard, “whats the matter with you?” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says “hey you!” The Monkey looks down and says “faaaaaaark dude…….how much water did you drink?!!”

Factoid: Reptiles find sunny Spain to their liking, especially thanks to dry conditions and plenty of hiding spaces. Two widespread gecko species, for example, frequent rock walls and houses in both town and country. The Turkish gecko (Hemidactylus turcicus) is more of a Mediterranean fixture, living in low, warm areas, usually close to the seacoast. The Moorish gecko (Tarentola mauritanica) enjoys a far wider range, penetrating the interior and reaching middle altitudes, such as the suburbs of Madrid. These insect hunters frequent bug-attracting lights and are a familiar summer sight.

In Spain and the rest of Europe, by far the most diversified lizard family is the Lacertidae. Mainland Spain is home to 16 species, some localized, others widespread. (Seven more live on Spain's Canary Islands.) The largest is the ocellated lizard (Lacerta lepida). This blue-spotted green-skinned reptile grows to 20 inches or longer, living in a variety of habitats throughout Spain, from sea level to 6,000 feet. Highway margins, olive groves, and vineyards fit the bill in many warm areas, where stone walls, rock piles, rabbit holes, and shrubs provide cover for these hunters. The lizards themselves are hunted by hawks, eagles, foxes, and other predators. Ocellated lizards eat mainly insects, but also may consume other lizards (including geckos), as well as baby rabbits and other small mammals, birds' eggs, and fruit. Spain has its share of snakes, too. Some, such as the smooth snake (Coronella austriaca), find stone walls to be ideal habitat.